


The Curious Meeting of Prince Dismal-Breeches

by mahwaha



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Gen, Pseudo-History
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahwaha/pseuds/mahwaha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one could resist Leo ‘Shut Up, Kid’ Valdez when he opened his mouth. Why else would he be at a brothel, right? Ha. Classic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Curious Meeting of Prince Dismal-Breeches

"Look, my liege—do you even go by that? Your Royalness? Prince ‘Scared my Pantaloons Off’? Anyway, whatever." Leo waved a hand between them as if clearing the air, which was nigh impossible. Too much perfume. "What I’m saying is, one: who takes off without pillaging some sweet loot? And two: I don’t remem—wait, yes I do. Coin? Doesn’t come from the sky. If you want to make the big money, you need to leave me alone for like…awhile. Couple hours, at least."

Prince ‘Please Quit Staring, I Fear for my Life’ continued staring. His sallow face held a frown like a grudge, and nope, Leo did not want to be on the receiving end of that. Ever. Again.

The logical next step was to keep talking, right? No one could resist Leo ‘Shut Up, Kid’ Valdez when he opened his mouth. Why else would he be at a brothel, right? Ha. Classic.

It wasn’t very funny, but—

"Come on, take pity on the whore. I said I’d help, okay? I’m just not ready to leap into a committed relationship without any supplies or," oh, who was he kidding? As if he’d never run off without any supplies. Or money. Or supplies. Or his dignity. Leo’s hands, which had been flapping and cutting the air, paused. "You know, things. How did you not pack—"

"Stop," His Supreme Grumpiness said. "I understood you the first time." Oh, ‘grumpy’ didn’t even cover it. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. Leo held his tongue, but his fingers had always been devil-may-care; he found himself fiddling with the music box he’d been trying to put back together, before a runaway prince busted into his room like some kind of morose goblin. Not that Leo had much room to talk, there; he was the goblin without the sour face.

When Prince Dismal-Breeches opened his eyes, his shoulders sagged. Leo put on his most charming grin—the kind he used when he wanted to holler and run out of the room on the inside. Not the cock sucking one. That one was for paying clients only.

"What are you doing?" He finally asked, sweeping his hand toward Leo’s lap.

"Offering to make you money with my body in exchange for being bust out of here like a prisoner of war?" Leo grinned again, platonically. Could grins be platonic? He fit pieces together without pausing to look down. If he did look down, he’d never look up again.

"No," Sovereign Sullen said, "that. What are you doing with that?" He crouched in front of Leo like he expected a platoon of penises to appear at any second—like he was tensed to spring back. His face looked less washed out, up close, and more like he needed to be fanned. Score for Leo. Prince Pasty probably hadn’t been with a hooker, yet. Like, not even in proximity.

"Fixing it. I’m a repair boy. There isn’t anything out there that I can’t fix—gadgets, jewelry, blue balls—"

"Okay," Prince Prude hissed out, flushing. "That’s how we’ll make money, then. Just escort me to the edge of the kingdom. It’s not far."

And it wasn’t. Leo hadn’t seen such a good deal in awhile. He played with parts while he thought it over, finding the hand crank and giving it a spin. Prim, glassy notes filled the space between them.

"Deal," Leo said, "but if you’re refusing to let me whore myself out now, then you can’t ask me to later. No matter how bad we need the money." He offered his hand and pretended that it wasn’t vibrating with adrenaline. To his surprise, the prince didn’t hesitate before reaching out to shake—though his hand leapt away like he thought he’d turn into a hooker if he touched Leo’s for too long.

"Deal. But don’t refer to me as royalty. Call me Nico." And Nico frowned like he had a lemon behind his teeth. It made Leo want to laugh, just a little.

"I’m Leo," he said, "but you can refer to me as the Supreme Rogue, Killer of Ladies, Seduction Overlord, Heart—"

"Shouldn’t you be _packing_?” Nico cut in, and Leo _did_ laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted [on my tumblr](http://tmblr.co/ZAtAjx1f6gJld)! Gotta love nerds and drabble prompts.


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